I’m sure the recent news that scientists believe they have discovered a cure for baldness was met with jubilation by plenty of men.
- They are consistent
A bald man can just wash and go, actually, even better, he can just go. Unlike your hairier variety of man, who can look deceptively different in the morning depending at what angle he’s slept.
One thing is for certain with a baldie, they guy you went to bed with is the guy you’re going to wake up with.
- They are always on trend
Unlike wigs, crafty comb-overs and hair implants.
*Don’t even think about it*
- They accept s**t that’s thrown at them
Like going bald at 24. Ouch.
- They save the world
Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Billy Zane…
You get the picture.
- They don’t look like 12-year-old girls.
Hair-bands, man buns, plaits, pig-tails?
Yeah, stop doing that.
- They have great teeth
OK, not all bald men have great teeth, but because they are hair-free you are more likely to notice their other assets. Deep blue eyes, long eyelashes, killer smile? Nothing says ‘wow, hasn’t he got a great set of ear lobes’ like a barren barnet.
- They don’t hog the bathroom
Having dealt with the trauma of a receding hairline at university, chances are, little will phase a baldie after that when it comes to appearance.
Preferable to a man who spray tans, waxes and hogs the bathroom for two hours every morning.
- … or clog your shower
What’s grosser than a plug hole full of hair? Something you don’t have to worry about with a baldie – unless you’re dealing with pubes on the pillow, but that’s for another blog post.
- They will never look like Kenny G
At least when you date a baldie you can rest easy knowing they are never going to surprise you with a set of highlights, a sweeping fringe or an ‘ironic’ mullet.
At the very worst they might come home with a YOLO shaving across the back of their head, but then I would suggest you had more to worry about in your boyfriend than his choice of follicle topiary.
- They are great in bed #fact
It is scientifically proven that bald men have higher levels of testosterone than those men with hair. Which, simply put, means they will shag you more.
Case closed, I think you will find.